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Thursday, January 23, 2014

More than 4 Years. Break Record!

Just realized that I have passed more than 4 years working in the same company, changed 3 different roles. Good job to myself! My bosses have done a great job in retaining me through times of change.

Broke the record compared to all my previous employment! Previous longest was 4 years.

Now I am paving my way to 5 years. Blessed to have a good job and good bosses (ok, I worked hard for it too :p some credits to self haha). Thank God for this and may 2014 be a fruitful, smooth sailing and greater year.

Interesting articles to read:

Retaining key employees in times of change

Many companies throw financial incentives at senior executives and star performers during times of change. There is a better and less costly solution.


Talent Retention: Six Technology-Enabled Best Practices
An Oracle White Paper, June 2012

Top 10 Ways to Retain Your Great Employees

Why Retention? 4 Tips for Employee Retention, by 

Monday, December 23, 2013

Stop Bitching!

" Don't do unto others if you don't want others to do onto you "

A principle that I follow closely.

As we grow older, we automatically become more matured, generally.

In my case, my personalities developed more from:
..... increase in traveling locally and worldwide
......gained and gaining more friends from all walks of life and ages (yes, I like to have a good mixture of different ages simply because I believe in having wide good balance. Everyone is unique and can learn a thing or two from each other)
......friends become good friends as time passes by (because there is no such thing as relying on one person only. Each individual has their own capacity and limits)
......see more what's bitter and sweet in life (tasted some myself but lucky nothing serious. Thank God I'm blessed)
......have heard and listened a lot from young and old (stories and sharing, including self-reflection)
......tasted and experienced throughout the number of years I am living on this earth - 'chiak bii pun chiak ceh ceh liao' (direct translation: eat a lot of rice already) the toilet, wipe the kitchen, sweeping the floor, wash the curtains, for many years eventhough there are 2 people living under the same roof. Simply because I don't want to debate or argue. For that matter, I also do not want to be calculative like others eventhough I contributed higher amount every month to begin with, calculating occupied space (what? like where I sit, where you sit, where I put the drawers, where you put your shoe rack, how much space you take putting your shampoo bottles, toilet roll, etc? Ayo... malas nak entertain these lah. Can you really count how many hair strands on which square foot so that you sweep and clean based on square foot? Ridiculous. To me, just do what we can contribute and be fair). Haih, not that I am very happy about this, but I'll absorb and stay calm with whatever all the sarcasm and harsh words said to me because I know what's the outcome if there is a debate (I can't change others' temper and choice of words used).

*deep breathe* After going through all of these, our thoughts / decision-making tend to cover and weigh matters at bigger scope, wider angles, views and perspectives... wiser generally. Our choice of words are filtered - we are careful with what we say. Particularly me, mainly because the nature of my job too that molded me this way. I am in communications, what to do...

Yes...I admit I am old already. I am really not into debating or arguments. Patience meter climbs higher reaching Mount Everest.

*Caveat - I am not the wisest, I AM imperfect, but at least I admit my flaws and try to fix it. Not overnight, but I do try to improve. Please bare with me and accept my imperfections. If I am overboard, let me know nicely and politely.

PROBLEM arising from this as we grow more feels like there's more generation gap. We become 'the nagger' as they like to call it.

Well, nevermind how they categorize me, it doesn't bother me overly much. However, I just feel bad for them because I don't see what good it does for the person to be continuously super stubborn, negative and hot tempered easily.

For example, in this situation, how would you have managed it?

A shallow air headed lady driver who 'die die' wants to squeeze into your lane in front of your car...would you:

1. 'ketuk' the lady's car side mirror few times very angrily
2. Show middle finger with an angry face
3. Speed your car faster and closer to the front car, disallowing the lady's car to slot in
4. In a short distance at a traffic jam, speed your car to chase with the other car and then, slammed to flip and close the other person's car side mirror
5. All the above
6. It's just one car, let her slot in if she gets too close to my car but I would stare at her awhile

Fair enough, the lady driver was quite inconsiderate on the road. What would I do? It is not the end of the world that I must screw a person during a traffic jam. I'd stay calm lah. That's for me.

Yup, I don't want to cause another unnecessary accident who are innocent on the road (or even to myself that costs me). At the same time, I also do not want to release more cortisol, the primary stress hormone that can jeopardize my aging process and health. It's unseen and indirect causes but it sure costs a lot harm to our ownself!

We have to check against our own mentality and mindset. If we act furiously, hot tempered and childish like them, what makes us different than them? Also, we have to be aware of our surroundings and be sensitive to who is around. Yes, our actions might hurt or shock others indirectly.

Often, I choose not to complain especially to people who are very close to me. It's a choice I make between -- "growing apart" or "growing closer"? So, when you don't hear it from me or anyone else whom you think are close to you, it really doesn't mean you are an angel or perfect. A point to note, if you really and truly want to hear honest answers -- ask, but be open about it. Even better, tell the person you are willing to open your ears to listen, don't rebut or debate. You are willing to listen to critiques. Don't get angry or judgmental about it thereafter. The choice I made is because speaking with love brings better results. I also choose to be quiet about it because I know that selected people can't accept negative comments about themselves. I don't intend to hear it myself too sometimes because it wasn't the right timing, especially when I'm rushing for deadlines or in a critical moment solving issues.

Being too stubborn...

YOU CANNOT move forward nor improve. To make it worse, it hurts others who are dear and close. Is it worth it to do that to others? To me, NO.

So I choose to speak of things which are positive, what is good that will help others to be better, unless being asked to give otherwise. Eh, who likes to hear negatives through sarcastic manner?? 

What sounds better?

When trying to get to the point:

#1 - "you nag and talk too much on one thing. This one say so, that one say so, all say so"

#2 - "perhaps can you shorten / summarize your opinion..what is the ultimate recommendation?"
 (avoid the negativity mention totally! not necessary as you are not his/ her mother)

If there is an argument, I ingrain this in my thoughts - there is no need to raise tone nor be rude or sarcastic. Stay calm and be rationale about it.

If one wish to give critic or negative comment, hey, you are welcome to offer a 'comment' or 'sharing' a friendly polite manner. At the right timing!

It doesn't take mathematics genius to realize this. Ask yourself! Practice makes perfect.

Ask yourself - can you, "yourself", accept to receive negative sarcastic bitching when people had a really long day? Can "you" even accept people giving you such negative comments when she/he don't even ask you to offer it during a normal conversation? Why do you start side-talk bad about people when it wasn't even about the person initially? That is YOU yourself BITCHING and COMPLAINING about others!

Don't retaliate over a slight matter! It's as silly as this example hearing married couple arguing petty stuff, and one of them likes to keep blurting "I want divorce" or "divorce la easier".

Your own enemy is always yourself. So stop judging, stop bitching, and seriously, stop topping up more bitching about others to others! Spend time on solutions, be more supportive and be positive.

We are never a "know-it-all" person. Stop and learn how to listen too.

~ this is my little corner for self-expressing (yea, own self-talking) because I don't want to keep or compress toxic inside me, and definitely don't want to intoxicate anyone hearing my ranting. So, read or ignore - your very own choice. Choose with silence... no gun is pointing at ya. End of my bitchy writing. Peace. ~

Thursday, November 21, 2013

A Word from A Hunk

" The nectar of life will always be in the now. Not tomorrow. Not yesterday! "

I like it!

I quote this piece from this good looking hunk... and he is not just a good looking one...

He is a certified marriage family therapist supervisor!

Why I don't see such man around here??? Adoi

Check it out: